Foolish April

Here's the story of my daughter's April Fool's day last year when she was a senior at University of Massachusetts in Amherst... It's too good not to share!

One year ago, I remember settling into my bed in my tiny second floor room in a house I shared with 3 roommates, and thinking that the next day, (April 1,) was sure to be eventful.

What I underestimated however, was the ingenuity of several of my closest friends. After what they did, they’re lucky I still refer to them as such. I was too tired to really worry about what could befall us in the morning, though I had a strong feeling we wouldn’t escape April Fools day unscathed. Boy, was I right.

I woke up earlier than usual to a text from one of my roommates, Erica, who was always the first one awake, as she worked full-time. “be careful if you go to the bathroom.” Strange, I thought. Did she spill something? Was she warning me about the usual flood of water that covered the floor after showers were taken? “Why?,” I responded. “You don’t know? Go downstairs.”

I wish the following events were filmed. I would pay to see our reactions. My roommate Kristen and I flung our bedroom doors open and raced downstairs, just as Kelly was emerging from her room. Powder covered the living room and kitchen floors. Pigs feet were in our coffee maker and refrigerator, Jello too. Peanut Butter and feminine products covered each of our cars. Then, the thing Erica warned me about. There was a (dead) lobster in our toilet bowl - RIP ‘Pinchy.’

Under the veil of darkness, the group of them assembled, discussed a plan of action, purchased supplies, dressed in black, snuck up on our house, climbed in through a kitchen window and wreaked havoc. And not one of us woke up - which is perhaps the most horrifying element of the story.

What was most upsetting to me? I was so disgusted by the pigs foot in the coffee maker, I couldn’t have my daily cup. I still teeter on the edge of gagging when I think about it.

Several angry text messages, and one scared friend and boyfriend later, the mess was cleaned up (for the most part,) by early afternoon by two of the perpetrators. However, I swear there was lingering white powder on everything from dishes to laundry up until the day we moved out in late May...